Me: someBODY once told me the WORLD is gonna roll me…
Catherine: I aint the sharpest tool in the she-ed!
Me: What if you had to have sex with the lead singer of Smashmouth RIGHT NOW or someone would kill your dog?
Catherine: He like, got arrested for rape or something. And I'd do it - even if my dog was safe.
me: I’d do it because I have a soft spot for rapists. I’m super attracted to them.
Catherine: Me too - I like it when the guy's in control of the situation.
me: Yes. He takes the initiative, and that really takes the pressure off a girl like me. Rape advocacy.
Catherine: I'm a rapist advocate. I speak for the voiceless. Give me money to fund my safe house for rapists.
me: Ok. I'll have a fundraiser. Called "Take Back The Night…Again."
Catherine: And the picture on your poster could be a big man and a little woman playing tug of war with the moon.
Me: Clip art style. And we'll have a kids’ haunted house where masked men jump out from behind mirrors. Everyone will be invited!